Curating Resilience
My sister says that I’m weird. But aren’t we all, I reply? Well, yes, she concedes. You are just wired differently than most.
We were discussing my uncanny ability to move forward in life after tragedy, endings, unexpected circumstances, etc. Break-ups, bad news, changing jobs, a car accident…. For me, life is like a light switch, one day on and then – click – off and moving into another direction. No looking back, just keep moving forward on the new path to see what comes before the next flick of the switch when I must pivot again.
Resilience and adaptability are my sources of strength. I give my years of yoga practice credit for building these foundational blocks for me. Resilience comes from a deep desire to accept the current, occasionally unpleasant and/or undesired situation while maintaining the ability to function in my daily routine. For my mind says that there is no other choice other than to move on. That’s not to say that I don’t allow myself time to grieve, because I definitely do and believe that is an important & necessary phase that must be honored. But after grieving, moving forward and not being paralyzed by the situation, is mandatory.
When my playful Irish setter, Riley, was diagnosed with diabetes earlier this year, the vet gave me 2 options: 1. I feed and inject her with insulin every 12 hours or 2. I could choose to euthanize her. Option #2 was definitely NOT an option. I left the vet clinic with Riley and an overwhelming feeling of responsibility. Not only must I adapt my life to this new schedule, but I also needed to overcome my intense dislike for needles. The first evening of the new feeding/injection schedule, I was a hot mess. I drank ½ bottle of wine and cried and watched a sad movie (producing even more tears) and mourned my ‘old’ life of having the flexibility to come & go as I pleased. I allowed myself the entire evening to grieve. No more sleeping in (for me), no more doggie treats (for her) and I now needed to monitor Riley’s activity so her blood-sugar remains constant. So many details that I had not thought of before, things that were just a way of life, and now – click – they are not. The next morning, I awoke to my ‘new’ life. As I have so many times in my past, I ‘put my big-girl pants on’ and faced my new circumstances. It took about a month for Riley and I to become adapted to our new routine, but we are now 7 months in and we are both settled in to our new way of life.
Not only is the pandemic currently teaching each of us about resilience and adaptability, but so are the Black Lives Matter & Me Too movements, the powerful weather patterns, the forest fires, working from home & home-schooling the kids. Many of these lessons are being presenting over and over and over again. As if saying, “you didn’t quite get it right last time, let’s try again”.
I have so many memories of times in my life where I told myself ‘time to put your big-girl pants on’ and deal with whatever the situation was at the time, no matter how difficult or unpleasant. 2020 is presenting a multitude of situations for us to practice our resilience and adaptability and put our big-girl (or boy!) pants on so we may experience growth, eliminate behaviors that are no longer in our best interest, and become stronger while moving forward. Let’s make sure to check in on each other, too. For practicing adaptability is much more powerful when you have your tribe supporting and encouraging you. Together we will all be stronger…and more resilient.