surrender
Last night I took a restorative yoga class 2020 style - in my living room with 45 other people in the little zoom boxes with my dog snoring in the background. For this restorative practice, we used bolsters & blocks & blankets to support ourselves in each pose and, once we were settled in, would remain for 15 minutes or so. After some minor adjustments and wiggling into place so the body was comfortable, the more challenging part was getting the mind to relax. The goal – creating the space so the nervous system could relax & repair - total surrender. Easier said than done.
Some of my classmates shared that they could never reach full relaxation. The body would not completely release because they were so used to being busy and moving that the attempt at refraining from that familiar state of constant movement was simply unattainable. I could relax my body, but my mind was not interested in slowing down. I’d settle into the pose & then realize that my mind was just spinning out. Our minds, as guided by our ego, just loves to make plans for the future and reflect on the past and, basically, keep the thoughts rolling constantly as if to say “I’m so important. Look how busy I am!” If you’ve ever meditated, you know how the mind likes to hijack your quiet time. The ego doesn’t want to BE - it wants to DO.
Doing is necessary in life, but constant doing is depleting. We westerners are soooo good at the doing part of life. It’s celebrated in our culture. Upon asking someone how they are doing, the typical response is “Busy”. This translates to: ‘I am worthy and successful because I am accomplishing things.’ But are we so busy being busy, have we lost the art of just being? If this seems like a foreign concept, just observe your pet for the day. Animals have perfected the being part of life.
Just being involves surrender. Surrender involves having faith…trusting that everything will be all right. That everything is as it should be. Being able to surrender completely can also feel very vulnerable – the ego has to submit, which can be so incredibly difficult, especially if that’s not something we are used to doing. To surrender, we have to release our expectations and accept the unknown outcome. We must be able to stop ourselves from chasing after those things we want and stop avoiding those things that we fear or dislike.
Take a moment to reflect on how much of your day is spent seeking the things you find pleasurable and avoiding those things you find undesirable. Just one more of this thing because it feels so good. Or, spending excessive time strategizing a simple task so that something/someone can possibly be avoided. Is there a situation in your life that you need to surrender to? Can you let it just be and see what comes naturally?
As we are in full swing of the holiday season, may I suggest that you give the gift of surrender. Definitely to yourself and possibly to another. Gazing at the star-filled sky – allowing yourself to be hypnotized by a fire – watching the clouds pass by. If you have a pet, mimic it’s actions for part of a day. Allow yourself to be immersed in the experience.
Surrender to not-doing. Just be.